Thursday, September 8, 2011

First things first

in·spi·ra·tionNoun/ˌinspəˈrāSHən/




1. The process of being mentally stimulated to do or feel something, esp. to do something creative: "flashes of inspiration".




2. The quality of having been so stimulated, esp. when evident in something: "a moment of inspiration in an otherwise dull display".




You want to do it, you know you can do it, you know that once you DO, do it, you're going to be very satisfied, yet.. you feel like you just can't start? It's almost like sky diving, although, I’ve never gone sky diving, but I've always wondered about it... which is almost the same thing? Right? Wrong. Unless you actually do it, nothing is going to feel the same. Which leads me to my point, I’ve always wanted to blog, and with that I mean actually commit to it, sure I’ve started, but never really gone through with it. I think about it all the time, but today, something different happen. I walk into work, wait for Cristina (the new girl at my job, who I have automatically clicked with), then take the elevator; without dropping my phone into the very slim (almost impossible) slot diving the floor and the actually elevator; like I did yesterday, thankfully, I recovered it, in one piece. but that’s on a whole other note. Well, back to where I was.. I walk into the kitchen and as I’m having breakfast, the usual, Melina walks in (the senior staff accountant), something about her has always interested me, no homo.. I mean in like a way that I knew she was as interesting at the blog she mentioned she had this morning, which I asked her to email me, and have been reading all day long. To my surprise, it's 12:37PM and I’ve been here at 7:30AM hanging out with the same stack of papers I’ve had all day, just reading her blog, and of course, now.. writing my own. I swear I’m sure the costumers on the phone can hear the A.D.D in my voice while I’m listening to every other word they are saying, trying to direct them somewhere away from my ear. After too much thinking, and wishing, a hoping, here I am, 100% inspired by Melina, doing something for ME, we'll get to what I mean by that later on in my posts.




Unlike social networks: Facebook, twitter, MySpace, etc.; where you get to read all about everyone’s alter-egos, fake life styles, and picture perfect relationships. A blog is somewhere I can do something I love, such as writing, and be the full of life, crazy, motor brain, care-less 20 yr old girl that I, well, will be, in exactly 2 wks and 6 days. & not care what anyone has to say, let alone, wait anxiously to get atleast one "like", or "re-tweet", to assure me that my post wasn't absolutely ludicrous or anything. I often come off as a confident, don't care what you think, kind of girl.. but really, we are all here for the same thing right? & it's to be at least semi-accepted by society. That's why we cover up all our family problems, boyfriend issues, or back-stabbing friend stories, to somewhat come off as if we have it all, and you know, add numbers to the "hatas." All with the exception of the weirdo’s who post they're drama all over these social networks.. oops, there I go, judging, GUILTY, let's face it, we all are. I guess I should start working now.. but, first things first, I’m Yari, almost 20 years old, and this is my life, and I’m somewhat going through a quarter life crisis, while my mom is going through her mid-life crisis, oh the joy of having a young mom :o), and here I am.. a couple heart-breaks, a hand full of best friends, high school horrors, two miscarriages, plenty of jobs, a family divorce, a beautiful niece, two cars, fake boobs, plenty of vacations, an amazing little brother, two dogs who have totally changed my life, and a shitload of head bumps later.. trying to figure out who I am and what I want, which is extremely difficult when you think your life has almost passed you by and nothing really went the way you wanted it too, and its easy to sit and dwell on the past and accept the fact that there isn't much you can do to fix it, instead of being aspirant and knowing that the future is completely yours and you can do whatever you like to make it the world you want to live in. Wow, I should take my own advice huh? Hahaha, well .. catch you later, this blog is most definitely going to be the end of my Apollo Bank career :p



P.S. i really hope I laugh at all of this when I am going through my mid-life crisis.

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